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DISCUSSION PRINCIPLES
The following guidelines are courtesy of Deborah Deemer:

  • I am critical of ideas, not people. I challenge and refute the ideas...but I don’t indicate that I personally reject them.
  • I focus on coming to the best decision possible, not on winning.
  • I encourage everyone to participate.
  • I listen to everyone’s ideas even if I don’t agree.
  • I restate what someone has said if it is not clear to me.
  • I first bring out all ideas and facts supporting all sides, and then I try to put them together in a way that makes sense.
  • I try to understand all sides of the issue.
  • I change my mind when the evidence clearly indicates that I should do so.

Carol B. SchwalbeA sea lion rolls in the sand to remove flies.

HOW TO PARTICIPATE IN A DISCUSSION
Listen carefully. Tolerate opposing views. Suspend judgment until all sides have spoken. Realize that often there is no right answer or conclusion.

These suggestions are from R.G. Tiberius:

  • Seek the best answer rather than try to convince other people.
  • Try not to let your previous ideas or prejudices interfere with your freedom of thinking.
  • Speak whenever you wish (if you are not interrupting someone else, of course), even though your idea may seem incomplete.
  • Practice listening by trying to formulate in your own words the point that the previous speaker made before adding your own contribution.
  • Avoid disrupting the flow of thought by introducing new issues. Instead, wait until the present topic reaches its natural end. If you wish to introduce a new topic, warn the group that what you’re about to say will address a new topic and that you’re willing to wait to introduce it until people are finishing commenting on the current topic.
  • Stick to the subject and talk briefly.
  • Avoid long stories, anecdotes or examples.
  • Give encouragement and approval to others.
  • Seek out differences of opinion; they enrich the discussion.
  • Be sympathetic and understanding of other people’s views.
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© 2008-2009 Carol B. Schwalbe