Well, this is the entry that nobody ever really wants to write--the last one, writing the ending to my four years as a Tufts rower. That's why I put it off for a week or two, perhaps in the hope that by doing so I could somehow magically extend the season for just a few extra days.
Neither of our boats--the varsity eight and the JV eight--qualified for ECAC's, our version of nationals. However, Tufts did get an entry in the Women's Varsity Four event, so four rowers and a coxswain had a chance for one last hurrah. I was one of the lucky individuals chosen to represent Tufts, along with Loi, Lizzie, Ashley, and Lauren, so I can tell you a bit firsthand about the whole experience.
This year was different from last year's nationals. Avaya was no longer the sponsor, and the event moved to a different venue--the Cooper River, in Camden, New Jersey. It also just felt different to me, perhaps largely because I was sitting in a different seat with a different view. But a big part of the difference was related to being a senior. Last year, nationals felt like a chance to stretch and end the season on a high note to carry us through to the following year. I also had absolutely no expectations last year; this year, I had a standard to work from. We came in third last year--how would we do in comparison this year? And it was my last college race ever, a fact that I had been thinking about for the week following the race.
The event also made me aware of how much my attitude towards racing has changed or is different from other people's attitudes. My biggest competitor is myself, and I am always trying to push myself further than I think I can go--to blow past all of my expectations. For many people, their competitors are the other teams. It can be tough to balance out these differences, but that challenge is an integral part of rowing. When it gets down to it, whatever it takes to make a person pull harder is what's needed.
We arrived in New Jersey on Friday, and went immediately to the race course for our first practice. After rigging our boat, we took it out for a brief spin on the race course. We were a bit nervous and distracted during that practice and the next practice the following morning. But by Sunday morning, when it was time for our heat, we had ironed out most of the wrinkles and were ready to go. At the starting line, we got some good news. Ohio State had scratched out of our heat, which only had five boats in it to begin with. So all four boats would advance to finals--the first two boats to the Grand final, the second two to the Petit final. That took a bit of the pressure off.
Overall, that first race was a bit strange--it was our first race in a four, and I could sort of feel that we were trying to get a handle on how we would respond in a racing situation. But we quickly demonstrated to one another our commitment and enthusiasm, and our solid performance in the second thousand meters of the race earned us an easy second and a spot in the Grand finals.
But the Grand finals wouldn't be as straighforward as the heat--we were up against some tough competitors. I honestly don't remember much of what happened during that race, except that at the third five hundred meters we were in a solid fourth place. Then something happened in the sprint. Every once and a while, something magical happens for me on the sprint--some inner demon comes out and all of a sudden I'm rowing harder than I've ever rowed before and the boat picks up and moves. And hey--I can't complain about that! So we picked up the pace and began to walk right through the third place boat, Wellesley. Of course, I had no idea of that at the time, because right about that time, the speaker next to my foot short-circuited and I could barely hear Lauren. But we all knew what to do, and unleashed the beast.
I don't think I've ever been in quite that much pain after a race--it was exhilarating and sad at the same time. We knew we were third or fourth, but didn't know which. When the times finally came in, we were 0.1 seconds behind third-place Wellesley.
When you think about this time difference, it's clear that it's pretty much meaningless. It was probably about a six-inch difference--the difference of perhaps a single stroke, or the twitch of an official's hand. But it doesn't matter. It was a phenomenal race, and a phenomenal way to end my four years of rowing at Tufts.
And now, after that last row, and after a few last runs in Boston and a quick trip to the Harvard Stadium just for old times' sake, I'll head back to Seattle, to row with an entirely different crowd of people. Nothing could ever be the same as rowing with Tufts Crew. I'll miss you, Jumbos...nasty. :)
It's hard to know how to begin this entry, because so many exciting things have happened this past week, but they're not all the sorts of things that can ever really be communicated in writing--they're all of the sensations that come along with participating in the culminating event of an entire year's worth of hard work--the New England Rowing Championships, held on Lake Quinsigamond. While many of the events during the course of the year are significant milestones for our team--the Head of the Charles and the crew triathlon in the fall, and, for some, the CRASH-B's in the spring--the New England Rowing Championships really stand out as the big finish. We spend months indoors in the wintertime, training and preparing ourselves physically and mentally for the spring season. Then, we spend weeks on the water, continuing to prepare physically and mentally and also technically, to race. And each time that we raced during the season was further preparation for this larger goal, this chance to compete with every crew all at once, and, most of all, to compete with our own concept of how hard we can push ourselves.
It was appropriate that we watched A Fine Balance the night before we raced--from what I was able to watch, this documentary was about an analogous process for a group of U.S. National Team rowers as they prepared for the 2000 Olympics. It's the same thing, actually, even if it's on a different scale, because in either situation it is, as I said, about the chance to push ourselves and then amaze ourselves by what we can do.
I have been really amazed by the way our team has been able to do this throughout our races this spring. Sure, we have disappointed ourselves on occasion, but, one way or another, we always managed to grow from each experience and continue to learn and go faster. And this is the kind of success that is really the most meaningful and lasting.
What separates the athlete from the non-athlete is not the ability to continue to grow and improve--it's the determination to do so despite every obstacle, internal and external. And when the athlete does so, he or she realizes that he or she has been successful.
Somehow, this whole aspect of athletics in rowing is further shaped by the dynamics involved in participating in this process in a boat with eight other people. Another layer of complexity is added. Individual success and growth are one thing--team success and growth are another thing altogether, and are much, much harder to attain. Being a good rower involves more than just being strong or being technically proficient or even having the right attitude--all of these count for nothing if one cannot work well with the other people in the boat and the other boats on the team.
So, why am I writing all of this? Well, I think that yesterday we were really able to push our limits and we amazed ourselves by what we were able to do, and how much fun it was to do it. And that's an accomplishment that will stick with me for a long, long time.
Sure, you can always look at results, just as you can always go a little bit faster and do a little bit better. But those remain secondary to enjoying the experience of racing itself. And yesterday was a day of phenomenal racing experiences. We went fast, and we had fun, and we amazed ourselves by how hard we could push ourselves.
Of course, I speak of all of these things from the perspective of someone who's about to graduate and move on to a new phase of my life, knowing that nothing will ever be quite like my Tufts Crew experience has been over the past year and over the past four years. But at the same time, I know that every single member of our team will take something positive away from our shared experience, and hey--who could ask for more? We are an amazing team.
As I said in an e-mail that I wrote to our team this past week, crew is 95% hard work and 5% pure ecstasy. And it's days like yesterday that keep me coming back for more.
Well, as usual, we have been quite busy at this time of year. Last weekend, we traveled to Lake Quinsigamond, Worcester, and raced against Holy Cross, Ithaca, and Conn College, three fast teams. It was another race under our belt, and a good chance to do some racing against more than one other team at a time--all in all, a valuable experience.
But that was last week, and so many more exciting things happened in the course of this week! First, we've talked on and off about marking our territory on the Malden, much as we have left our mark on the Charles for years on end. So on Friday, we got a bunch of cans of spraypaint, and stealthily went to the Malden and painted underneath the bridge at the finish line. Caitlin Rouse took a few pictures (under the album called "new crewers pictures" of the whole adventure. One of my favorite parts of the whole thing was watching Amira and Ashley paint a giant pair of chrome oars. While we clearly aren't tag art virtuosos, we nonetheless managed to make the finish line bridge a whole lot prettier.
On Saturday, it was a day of girls races, against Smith, Wellesley, and Simmons. As usual, we won some, and we lost some, and we got some more good racing experience in. There were some touching moments, as the 7 seniors finished their last set of races on the Malden. One of the first "lasts," I suppose. It's hard to really understand what it means to be on the way out the door until you're there, but it's a good reminder to treasure the moment. As one of the seniors put it, we're the 7 survivors out of the more than 80 people that started rowing four years ago. That's a pretty big accomplishment! And the six other rowers couldn't be any more amazing to row with.
The weather forecasts for Saturday were a bit dire and foreboding, so Tufts decided to cancel Spring Fling, our big after-race party. But that never really got in our way--instead, there was much carousing at 143 College Ave. And, of course, the huge thunderstorm and massive winds never really showed up.
So that's it for this week, folks! Next weekend we head back to Lake Quinsigamond, for the New England Rowing Championships. We're all hoping the weather will be a bit nicer for once, seeing as we haven't yet had a chance to sport our sexy unisuits in a race yet. Regardless, it's going to be a big weekend!
Just to warn those of you who are underclassmen: in many respects, senior year will be crazy, and you'll find yourself having to prioritize your life differently than you did in previous years. Thus it was that I ended up having to work on the Undergraduate Research Symposium instead of going to our first race of the season, against WPI, and cannot bring you a detailed report on the whole experience.
By now, we have finished our third week of racing and are starting to get into the swing of things. The spring season always seems a bit strange to me. We spend week after week preparing for roughly two months of solid racing, where we're booked every weekend. This year, we've had to be particularly flexible, as the weather in Boston isn't always conducive to racing. As I mentioned above, the team's first race was against WPI. Sadly, only one of our two boats got to race, but I think it was a moment of Jumbo pride for all of us, as they creamed the competition. Then, last Saturday we were supposed to have our first big week of racing, Malden-style. But the weather gods decided that having a long, cold winter wasn't enough, and had one last gasp to deliver.
We had rain. We had snow. We had icy conditions. We had wind. There was even some hail and some thunderstorms. Pretty much everything in the book except for Mr. Sunshine. As a result, Mt. Holyoke bailed on us, and we had to scramble around to put together a new racing schedule. This time, our second boat had its spring racing debut and our first boat served as their moral support. The second boat creamed Coast Guard, starting their season off well. As a side note, I have to say that I have been impressed overall by the team's maturity this year. We have had to deal with many types of obstacles, whether they are not having the opportunity to race or other, individual obstacles. But altogether we have shown each other that we take advantage of every opportunity to shine, whether on or off the water. And that can be as important to our success as anything.
Anyway, this weekend was, I think, the weekend when it really felt like the season was getting underway. It was a tough weekend of racing--both boats had two back-to-back races, with chances to race against Bates, Washington College, and Wesleyan. The first boat was, of course, very excited about the chance to compete against Bates, who would be a good test of our progress thus far. We raced solidly through the first 1500m of the race, staying well ahead of Bates. But at the last minute, they pulled ahead and came in three seconds before us. It was a close race, and we were disappointed, but there was little time to think before we had to paddle back down to the starting line for our second race, against Wesleyan, the losers of their race against Washington College.
Our second race went much better--we were better prepared for the strange headwind on our course--and we ended up coming in four seconds ahead of Wesleyan. It was a "You win some, you lose some" sort of situation. For the records, Bates ended up losing their race against Washington College, a team with a ferocious-looking group of rowers who grunted on pretty much every stroke.
Our second varsity boat also had some good racing. They first crossed the finish line well ahead of Wesleyan, then turned around and headed back down to the starting line for a race against Bates which they lost.
But that's all results, results, results. As our coaches tell us time and again, if we are focused on what's happening within our boats, the results will take care of themselves. And I think we came off the water this weekend feeling pretty satisfied with our progress. We had some good competition this week, which challenged us and pushed us to our limits, but I know we'll use our racing experiences to enhance our focus in practice during the upcoming week.