It all started with Friendster. Social Networking took its turn in India when Orkut became popular. Everyone was on Orkut. Even in the most conservative parts of the country. Guys who never even spoke with girls in their entire lives, got on to get that psychological affliction removed owing to the ease that Orkut provided in socializing. I was a bit different though. I started talking to her first via SMS. Text Messaging was another popular thing, but a it was a thing for only the bold hearted teenagers to attempt, atleast in the year 2006 in Chennai.
I met her in my freshman year of college. Went through the usual introductions, but I never really found her attractive or anything. There were a lot of girls and a teenager's eyes does pan around though will not get fixated to one in particular. I got to know her in more detail though there wasn't really any big or sparkling conversation between us.
I reckon it was January when we entered and won that electronics competition together. One can't help but get closer to someone if you are stuck with them working together in a team for two days straight. There it was, our first unofficial date. We were getting closer and closer to each other, texting, chatting. There was a week when I am sure there were more than 700 texts each way (We had a 100 texts per day limit then). Then started the occasional call, the odd date a month. Things were going just fine.
It was a really nice spring evening one January when I went ahead and messed it all up. I said I loved her. To my surprise, she said she loved me too. It lasted for a day, the second day we broke up and she blocked me in orkut. She had changed her phone number also. I reckon she got a little too panicky. Things went on cold war for a couple of years, we teamed up again for the senior year comprehensive project. Then it was the turn of facebook, a fine person-centeric social network. She added me in FB and even today I consider the following two years the best years of my life. We started going out again, we were so close to each other that we are practically a couple living together. College was done we became more attached then ever, thanks to facebook mobile. It was her turn this time, she started the question of 'us' again, and we were again in love, we both knew it. I had to move to Arizona for my Grad School and she was working in Bengaluru. I wonder what we would have been doing if not for facebook.
Alas, online relationships are never stable, particularly when they are long distance. Out of the blue, she had blocked my facebook profile, she changed her mobile number yet again, changed her physical address and moved elsewhere. I could never talk to her again until today. Perhaps one day we will speak again, get to know each other again, date again, just perhaps perhaps perhaps.. ( lol like all couples we watch sitcoms together and coupling was one of our favorites :D )
The pleasures of relationships that we see these days courtesy social networks are huge. That being said, they are also equally hurting and torturing when you break up with the love of your life, for when they block you, you can still feel their presence amongst your mutual friends, but they always elude you. It is hurt! The problem with social media is that you can block the person and their profile, but you cannot block them from your mind. They exist in the zeitgeist. You won't know what they think so you make things up. You will paint them in all the negative light possible without any understanding towards knowing what they are going through or feeling. Perhaps there was a legitimate enough reason for her to block me twice. Make me go through the hurt that I have to go through. It couldn't have been pleasant for her knowing that I am struggling. What do I do though? Do I think that she was cheating on me? No - that's an insult to her memory. But my mind forces me to assume the worst about her. This is what blocking in social media does. If only there were a better solution.