"There was too much noise in front of me, even though I haven't even got on it yet. Even over all the encore, I can still hear my heart beating. A sweat breaks out. They called my name and its time. I take the first step onto it. The first tinge of lights and smoke hit my face along with the blast of over ten-thousand people cheering. A smile broke out on my face and all the butterflies fly away. I knew then, that I am about to be born again and this is where I am supposed to live."
A stage is not just a dais. Its not just an elevated platform where people perform. Well it is just that, if you are one among the audience. For a performer though its much more than that. A stage is a miraculous place, where there are no worries, no fear and no one can stop you. Its a place where you lose yourself on your performance while you and the art become one - Inseparable.
The stage is where I have been most alive. I perform for the people, yet I dont care if they like my performance or not. For all I care about is the performance and how much breath it gives me. The best of the best stage performers like Michael Jackson or the Iron Maiden, they dont just perform. When we watch their performance we are so captivated by their stage presence that we become a part of their performance ourselves. They share not only their emotions, but also their energy and their soul with others
May be thats why I feel so alive. I am sharing the energy and the soul of so many others, that I live more than just my life. I miss those days. When I was with TwinStarZ or with JDC, I become one with my fellow dancers. We all become just one being. Our souls were connected and so were our minds. In my post dancing stage appearances with G-Clef though I was not one with the band. No... rather I had my self to me. I was closer than I had ever been with myself. I had all the time to do what I wanted to always - to perform. I miss both those experiences. We all live together on stage, with just ourselves. Enjoy so much as though there were no tomorrow. Live as though we are the only survivors on a post-apocalyptic world.
Maybe one day I will get back a similar stage experience. Maybe I will be able to live once more, the way I did. Until then, I can just hope to get my life back whilst rewinding my memories and try to feel out the rush.