"Save Werther!"

The below personal ads were authored in response to an in-class writing assignment which asked students to compose a ficticious personal ad on behalf of Werther (to make him forget Lotte), based on their interpretation of the character, and his search for meaning and the infinite. Note that writers had only 10 minutes to complete this task!

Responses to any of the below ads should be directed to lonelyinwetzlar@thegiaour.com


Single white male seeks life long confidant to navigate through all the sublime experiences the worlds has to offer.  Pensive, passionate, poetic.  Enjoys alliteration.  Appreciates simplicities of life such as people of less fortune and the silly play of small children and old people.  Looking forward to savoring every moment.  Likes: penpals, sunsets, journals, nature, puppies and crying.
Dislike:  people who dislike me
Loves:  children, thinking deep and profound thoughts, being misunderstood

by Alissa Furman

Single male in his twenties who is an amazing artist. I enjoy long walks thorough the wilderness, intellectual conversations, and sketching dirty, poor children. I do not enjoy holding down a regular job, people who are stuffy and professional, and anyone who cannot appreciate me for me. I am seeking a young beautiful (mind and body) woman (by the name of Lotte). She must love children, conversation, and most importantly…ME.

by Amy Paul

Introverted, SWM, seeks beautiful unavailable woman to inflict emotional torture. She should be ambiguous, motherly, married, and feel passionate about klopstock. I am looking for someone to take long emotional walks in the countryside. Should be open for discussions on suicide, and my emotions. I am very good with other peoples children.
Rational women are of little interest to me, so please do not apply.
by Lauren Schofield

An emotionally unbalanced, well-educated, middleclass young man in his twenties who is in touch with his emotions with a strong fondness of children. A curious, coming of the age, impractical dreamer and romantic yearning for love and understanding. An anti-enlightenment individual lead by intuition and not societal rational, an outsider with a strong passion for creativity, artistry and spirituality looking for a down-to-earth, raw, natural life. Looking for a pure, fine-looking, generous woman who loves art, the quest for knowledge, intellectual conversations and doesn’t mind over obsessive, infatuate, frustrated tendencies. I am a catch! I am, I am, I am.
by Kisha Linayao

A young man of sensitivity seeks a young woman for sublime companionship. Has artistic temperament and inclinations, preferring to spend time in perusal and contemplation rather than engaging in more sordid types of employment that dull the senses. Loves nature and worshipping the almighty Godhead to be found there; however, also shows reverence for divinity within self. Seeks in lover a fine, discerning mind of sympathy, capable of intelligent conversation on various topics and who appreciates a life seeking the sublime rather than stagnating in complacent comfort.
by Deborah Elam


Tall Dark Man Seeking Pure Woman

I'm a man with plaguing emotions, ready to come upon a woman with spunk. 33yrs old, with all my hair and charming wit. A writer, with huge expectations beyond any other writer before. Have emotional appeal soaring to new heights in the body of a very sexually straight man. In the process of completing a poetry book once I find a dark yet light woman to share my passions with. I love to walk anywhere and everywhere that the road will take my dark romantic heart. Seeking a woman with intelligence and heart.

by Vanessa Jackisch


SWM, twenties, suffering, angstful, young artist looking for emotionally deep counterpart to share love with. Hobbies include cuddling, crying, playing with children, drawing, crying over poetry in the rain, and anything relevant to inner emotions. Please don't respond if you are over the age of twenty five or if you are a member of the aristocracy. If you value classical hard working male characteristics please refrain from responding. I am looking for a woman who is well read in the great works or poetry such as Klopstock and Ossian, as well as Homer. Woe is me!

by Ryan Austin

Single, sensitive gentleman seeking intellectually and emotionally stimulating young lady. I am an artist who especially enjoys sketching and storytelling, and prefer to engage with those who also appreciate creativity. An ideal first date would be dancing followed with a well thought, well articulated, and emotionally moving conversation. I wear my heart on my sleeve and seek that special woman who will cherish my tears and my kisses. Any woman intending to reply should possess the loving, nurturing qualities of a mother, the free spirit of a child, and the passion of an artist. I seek the lady that I cannot live without.
by Jodi Aronson

SWM (Suicidal, Whiney Megalomaniac), genius, seeks kindred soul. I enjoy talking about myself and my feelings, drawing, lauding nature, and kissing objects that hold sentimental value for me. I do not enjoy people who don't understand that I am a genius and expect me to behave like the rest of humanity. I seek a woman who enjoys touchy-feely literature, children, and sublime experiences. Good correspondent preferred. Must be okay with stalker-like fidelity.
by Michelle Hopkins

SWM, young twenties, genius and artist. Enjoys long walks in nature by also greatly enjoys domestic life, especially children... but not in that way. Loves dancing and deep meaningful conversations that often lead to delicious outbursts of tears. Looking for an intelligent and beautiful woman, yet not more intelligent and beautiful than himself. Must love children and appreciate their unfinished nature. Please no already invested young women, we've had enough trouble with those. If interested please contact via hand written letters.
by Rachel Gensburg


SWM, 23, artist, looking for passionate (though not necessarily consummated) relationship. Hobbies include communing with nature, reading Ossian aloud, and corresponding via letters. Seeks bourgeois, beautiful, unavailable woman who appreciates emotional literature (à la Klopstock). Love of children a must.

by Heather Sollom

SWM, early twenties, looking for love in the right place for once.  Enjoys artistic pursuits and contemplation.  Looking for a woman with a brain and a nurturing attitude (love for kids is a plus).  Must appreciate poetry, a flair for the dramatic, and nature.  If you like your men sensitive yet masculine, emotional and determined, intelligent and talented, I might just be the fellow for you.  NOTE: those with an aversion to obsession, crying, and/or self-centeredness need not make contact.  Interested?  Email me: xshotgunxRomanticx@fictionalemo.com .
by Betsy Jacobson


W, about 20 (The same approximate age as my author when he had a similar affair), Occupation: “Wanderer Above the Sea of Clouds,” like my author I will probably remain a virgin because I fail to fulfill my passions. I enjoy going out during sublime winter storms which threaten my sense of physicality-leading to a greater knowledge and communion with an ambiguous Romantic God-head. I like poetry, but am not “totally gay,” However, I did have several conversations with a certain count that evidenced homoerotic overtones (so maybe looking for a lucky female, or male if the feeling strikes me), My partner must enjoy reading. Especially Homer and Ossian (how I do love to connect with the Teutonic myths of the latter. How I am split between a love with a classical blind poet of intuition and one which shares my Nordic heritage!). Enjoying long walks in nature at any time a must. Those who cannot cry need not apply. Lastly, a high economic status is preferred to (hypocritically) support my subjective voice as an artist.

by Jacob H. Leveton

Passionate young artist seeks woman with similar interests in classical literature (Homer and MacPherson only please) and who carries a strong inclination towards nature, long walks, astronomy, good conversation, and extremely limited alone time. Must also share seeker's affection for children, excluding those of the aristocratic nobility. Is preferable that the woman not already be engaged to another man, but this is negotiable. It is important that she show an appreciation for the fine craft of letter writing and be willing to cater to the frequent fluctuations in the temperaments of a moody man. Looking VERY forward to your reply.
by Nick Carroll


SWM seeking adoring woman. I am a deep thinker, have a creative spirit, am great with kids, embraceable, and once I am committed to a woman, my attention never ceases (I really do not!), passionate, sensible, sensible, and sensible. My only thought will be of you, to feel you in my arms and kiss your lips. I have unrestrained thoughtfulness (but not creepy!) with copious amounts of turmoil if my heart shall be broken. I am poetic and overly sincere to spend every waking moment with you on my mind, in thoughts and in my art. I will pine over your every feature, breath, subtlety, and my countenance will fiercely display the joy I feel with any attention that you give me. Hurry and answer or else I might break down and cry, the tears infinity pooling and collecting at my feet. Make haste, every sensation I shall feel awaits your response.


by Chris Collier-Sudduth


Young, financially secure, bachelor seeks a sensitive partner with which to experience the world. I am greatly interested in the inherent spirituality of nature and the expression of such in my art. I enjoy endless walks through the sublime wilderness which I feel draws out my own emotional responses and elevates my self-awareness. I am an avid dancer and charming conversationalist that can feel at home in any social situation. As a progressive thinker, I do not adhere to ludicrous concepts of social distinction. I must disdain all those that have not become as progressive in this matter as I have. Looking for a woman of intellect and substance that will be capable of withstanding the strength and effects of my own personality. I get along well with children and am adored by the poor and the old as well. I also indulge in bouts of crying. Come join me for a walk.

The Lonely Romantic

by Jillian Tse

SWM, early 20's, impeccable dresser and well-liked by everyone, seeks intelligent, witty, and most importantly SINGLE woman with which to spend countless evenings sobbing over the sunset.  Must love animals, good books, and tormented souls.  Also, if you're looking for someone with spending money, look somewhere else.  Women with children preferred.
by Natalie Perkins


Young, talented, middle-class artist fresh out of college searching for his soul mate. Enjoys long walks through nature, aiding the poor, and reading Homer and Klopstock. Loves Kids. Looking for a sweet, sensitive woman with similar interest and a well-developed mind. Beautiful piano player would be a bonus.

by Ragan Osteen


Genius SWM, 23, seeks understanding female companion. Must be simple yet intellectual, nurturing and entertaining, modest though adventurous. Must love nature and children. I do. I am a virtuoso with a canvas and a storyteller capable of bringing an audience to tears! If we are to meet, please bring handkerchiefs in excess. For me. People love me, and if you understand genius, you shall as well. Frame this ad! It is a work of genius and may be worth something, some day.

by John McDonald

Single, white, twenty-something male, somewhat desperately seeking companion while struggling through an intensely introspective vacation. Must love children, and I mean REALLY love children. Brunette preferred, dark eyes preferred. Must be an avid Homer reader, and nothing else (well, a little Oessian will do as well). Must not pretend to be knowledgeable on art, and must appreciate my own genius above all others. Must love children. A constant handkerchief carrier is highly preferred. Must not bother me with questions of financial ambition, and above all, must love children.
by Cody Huffaker


Sensitive, middle class male seeks similar woman to enjoy nature, the company of others, and intelligent discussions with. Must include dowry large enough to support both male's future artistic and intellectual pursuits as well as a family with many children.

by Susan Hicks


Young, talented artist seeking intelligent single woman with simple taste and deep appreciation for nature. Must love children and spontaneity. Ideal relationship includes lengthy discussion of emotions in return for total devotion. Not particular about appearance, but good looks are a definite plus. No social climbers, aristocrats, or otherwise “cultured” ladies.

by Heather McCoy

Educated and extremely talented young male, enjoys small children and proving superior intellect over others; seeking single, young, nurturing and non-suicidal female for relationship based solely around discussions of self, books envoking intense emotion, and fits of crying.
by Samantha Evans


SWM, 22, talented artist seeking passionate, yet cerebral relationship with intelligent and graceful young woman. Must be profound, learned in classic poetry, intensely caring, and interested in pursuing deep emotions. Must not focus on class differences or require stable professional breadwinner. I enjoy nature, children, rural life, Homer (or Ossian, depending on my mood), and delving into life's most vibrant experiences. Call now to start exploring our shared pain.

by Jaren Provo


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