Crossing the Valley

THE ROLE OF THE CATHOLIC MISSIONARIES

The Catholic missionaries spoke with Mary’s parents and recommended she be sent to a boarding school in the U.S.  This would give her parents time to get their paperwork together so they could emigrate to the U.S. under refugee status. 

CHILD REFUGEE

Mary was sent through the Catholic missionary group to a boarding school in Washington D.C.; Mary was only eleven years old and did not speak a word of English.  She arrived at the school in May of 1962.  Mary shared a room with three other girls; all were older than she.   The nuns that ran the school spent many hours teaching Mary to speak English.  Mary successfully learned the English language and began school with the rest of the girls in September of that same year.

I asked Mary if she was frightened leaving her country and parents for a strange land with a different language.  She said, “No, I never really gave it much thought.  At that time, the parents told the children what to do and what would be best for them and the children did it.”  Mary and her family knew she would be sent to a Catholic boarding school surrounded by other girls.  They knew she would be well taken care of by the nuns until the time they could reunite with her in America.

THE REFUGEE EXPERIENCE-FLEEING CUBA

Meanwhile, her parents were in Cuba getting their paperwork together and preparing to migrate to the U.S. themselves.  Once the paperwork is requested, the government comes to the house to take inventory of all assets.  The government allows the refugees to pack three outfits each; all other possessions are taken by the government.  The house and all of its contents were inventoried and seized to the point that no heirlooms were allowed to be passed to family members.  Mary commented that her parents were not even allowed to give their towels to family members.

Ships that transported medical supplies from the Miami to Cuba also transported refugees from Cuba to the U.S.   In July of 1963, leaving behind the rest of their family, Luis and Rosa were waiting to board the ship that was going to take them to the United States.  Hundreds of refugees awaited boarding, when Castro gave orders that no refugees were to board the ships leaving for the U.S. that day.  The captain of that ship insisted that he would not leave the port without the people.  Within a couple of hours, Luis, Rosa, and the others boarded and left for America.  Sleeping quarters for the refugees were cots that lined the bottom of the ships floor.  They were each given a bologna sandwich and a piece of cheese for food, once a day.

      Upon arrival in Miami, the refugees were processed and given the choice of three cities in which to live; Boston, Chicago, and Dallas (and transportation to the city of their choice).  Mary’s parents chose Dallas, Texas. 

Mary was sent to Dallas to be united with her parents.  Mary remembers what a great feeling, what a relief it was to finally be reunited with her parents.  However, it was strange not having the extended family together.

ORR-OFFICE OF REFUGEE RESETTLEMENT

Once Mary’s family reached their desired location (Dallas, TX), they were pleasantly surprised to find that an apartment awaited them.  The apartment was furnished and had the staples to get them going.  They were allowed to stay there for one month without paying rent.  The refugee families were given assistance by the ORR department of the Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS); offering temporary assistance to needy families.  To find more information about refugee programs and assistance, look at the following website:  http://www.refugees.org/world/articles/orr_rr00_4.htm.

 Although they were now residence of the U.S., they held close ties with their family in Cuba.  Mary recalls the tradition of carefully choosing Christmas gifts for grandparents and cousins every November.   She said this event marked the beginning of the holiday season for her.   They carefully wrapped them with beautiful bows and colored beautiful cards (to include something personal).  In addition to Christmas gifts, they sent monetary remittance as well.  Mary does not recall how often they were sent, but she knows there was a special jar in the kitchen (she says it looked like a cookie jar), the money was collected and sent to the grandparents.

Remittances still remain an essential aspect of economics in many countries.  For example, in Cathy Small's, "Voyages",  Tonga's economy  relies very heavily in remittances from sent from Tongans living overseas.  In fact, "Remittances brought in almost four times the revenues of exports and accounted for 45 percent of Tongan's gross domestic product." 

NEW FAMILIES-OLD HERITAGE                 

The families that traveled to Dallas together became “family”.  The commonality of their heritage, language, and home country, bonded them together.  The families helped each other find work, lived with each other until each was able to afford a house, and support one another during hardships.  For example, Mary and her family lived with another family for what she remembers to be just over a year.  I asked Mary if this seemed to be difficult having two women in one house, raising children, financial obligations, husbands, etc.  She said, “No, not that she remembers.” 

Mary recalls the experience as family living together; music playing, women caring for the home and children, the men working, and children laughing and playing together.  She said the whole community had this feel.  They could walk into any house and feel as though they belonged.  Mary commented that many of the European immigrants gave up their identities to assimilate into society; however, the Cuban community did not.  They continued to speak their language, hold fast to their traditions of music, faith, and family.  Presently, they continue to pass their heritage, language, and family history on to the youth to keep their cultural heritage alive. 

       A common misconception is that regardless of culture, ethnicities tend to cluster in groups to support each other and become a “family”.  The family unity experienced by the Cuban refugees supports this idea.  The Cuban migrants supported one another regardless of family lineage.  Since many of their families were dispersed across the U.S., or left behind in Cuba; the Cuban migrants adopted one another as "family".  This brought to mind the Tongan migrants discussed in the book, “Voyages”, by Cathy Small.  They bonded to work towards the betterment of all Tongan migrants, focusing on improved living for the culture as a whole.  The Tongan migrants here in the U.S., sponsor natives to join them here.  They take their fellow Tongans in to their homes and are a great support to one another.

Disproving this theory, the Hmong culture depicted in the book, “New Pioneers in the Heartland”, by Jo Ann Koltyk, focus on helping their direct lineage instead of the culture as a whole.  Although family and community are the most important aspect in their lives, they feel uncomfortable asking neighbors for help.  An example is when a woman with a sick child would not ask a fellow Hmong neighbor for help.  Instead they will travel to find help from a family member;  “Instead of asking a Hmong neighbor for help, people go to relatives, even if it is inconvenient and they live far away” (p. 60). 

PURSUING THE “AMERICAN DREAM”

The next challenge was for Luis to find a job.  Luis had the proper paperwork in order to acquire a job but did not speak English.  He woke up every morning and walked to the Coca-Cola bottling plant.  Luis noticed the workers were arriving about 5:30 a.m. and he followed behind.   Luis said to the people, “Family hungry, must work”.  After almost two weeks of this, he began working in the plant, washing bottles.  He was so relieved.  Luis knew this opportunity would give him a chance to show what a good, hard worker he could be.  He was so proud to be able to support his family.

 These refugees had very low expectations of what was waiting for them in the U.S.  Mary said her parents expected to “sleep on park benches and eat scraps from restaurants.”  They also did not expect to find employment easily (since they did not speak the language).  Contrary to their initial beliefs, they felt they were treated very well by the American people.  The opportunities were there, proved they were willing to work hard.  Luis still comments that he doesn’t understand how American citizens that speak the language can be living on the streets.  He speaks of his journey from Cuba, the struggles he and Rosa overcame.  Luis reminds the family of the struggle to migrate, learn the language, become a citizen, and learn a new trade.  He is proud of the fact that he and Rosa raised two children and put them through college.

BECOMING U.S. CITIZENS

As time went on, the family learned to speak English.  Luis got a job with the city of Dallas working as a supervisor of maintenance workers.  Mary continued her education.  Rosa continued to do tailoring work at her home.  When Mary was 13 years old, she and her parents took their tests to become citizens. 

Curious about test questions to become a citizen?  Check the following web site:

http://www.immigrationagency.org/citizenship_test.html

      In the article, The New Immigrants, scholar John Fonte states, “Our goal (in the U.S.) should be Americanization, stated clearly without apology and without embarrassment. . . Americanization does not mean giving up our ethnic traditions, customs, cuisine, or birth languages.  It means patriotic assimilation.”  Mary and her family have “Americanized” quite nicely.  They were able to hold on to their ethnic heritage while incorporating into the U.S. culture.

Mary went on to graduate from college with an accounting degree and attained her CPA.  She met a nice “American” man, Larry, in Dallas and has been married for 28 years.  After working twenty-five years in the business, she retired and began a new career as a flight attendant for American Airlines.  Her husband was transferred to Phoenix three years ago and they now have a home in Phoenix and a condo in Dallas.  Mary continues to have a strong relationship with her family; spending a significant amount of time with them.  Her nieces and nephews are very important to her since she was not able to have children of her own.

FUNNY STORIES

Mary laughs when telling the story about her mother becoming pregnant with her second child at the age of 31 - her family thought she was SO OLD.  Considering she had her first child at the age of 16, her child was now almost 16, the women were all 16 years apart!  That IS really amazing!

I asked Mary if there is anything she wanted people to know about her culture.  She said, “Yes!  When we are together as a family, we are happy.  We play the music and dance around while we fix dinner.  We speak on different levels of volume and when a thought or opinion comes to mind we blurt it out; it sometimes sounds as though we are yelling at each other or fighting, but that is just the way we gather together”.  Mary also says they take joy in the children.  The children are free to run around, dance, laugh, and make noise.  This is celebration, good times.  

  Her husband (Larry), on the other hand, is from a “proper”, “well-mannered”, German household.  When he first began attending functions with Mary’s family, he felt anxious; like everyone was fighting and not listening to each other.  He now embraces the Cuban culture and their gatherings. 

However, even after 28 years of marriage, Mary does not enjoy the functions with Larry’s family.  She says they all sit around so nice and quiet and wait for one person to make their point before “speaking up”.  Mary explains she is incredibly bored from the slow moving conversation and lack of tone variation and emotion in their speech.  The children sit or play quietly; as to not get in the way or bother the adults too much.  Mary observes that many American families have the same philosophy as Larry’s family.  She says, “They just don’t know how to have a good time together”. 

After talking to Mary, it seems as though she and her family have adjusted quite well into the American culture.  And when asked if she thinks her family has achieved the “American Dream”?  Mary answers, “With God’s blessings, and the help of family and friends…without a doubt, they have achieved the ‘American Dream’!”

  If the Cuban culture sounds interesting to you and you would like to learn more about the country, histories, and more, check out the following web site: